On That Midnight Plane to Georgia...

What world is this, what time...

The King's House, same birthday, same time...

I wanted to set them free, but to where...

What in God's name...

The things I want and the things I need are the same... I don't want anything more than I need

...and when the farmer gets his home, he may not be the richer but the poorer for it, and it be not he that has the house, but the house that has him. This is the reason he is poor and for similar reasons we are all poor in respect to a thousand savage comforts, though surrounded by luxuries -Henry David Thoreau

Journey...

I've been avoiding confession for a while now,
I finally went the other day.
Even though it took me like 5 minutes to start,
I blurted it all out eventually.

As they always are, the priest was quiet and kept looking forward.
I could see his faint outline behind the screen.

Confession would always scare me as a child, I'd rarely done anything wrong so I'd work myself up into this panic, then eventually have to lie about doing something wrong and then confess to the lie I'd just told. It seems so silly now, but it still always worries me.

I don't often have reason to go and haven't been for over a year, but this time it felt like I was getting some things off my chest and thinking about it now, I realise that's what it's really for.
Even though I cried and was a bit emotional, I feel much better now.

There's something so comforting about religion, even though people have used it to cause a lot of trouble around the world. To think there is someone with you all the time no matter what religion you follow, especially when bad things are happening to you or even for when you're just lonely, is such a nice thought.

I always remember when I was little right after I got out of hospital, one of my teachers told me that story about footprints in the sand...

So when they looked back on their life they said to God, you were always there for me, except when I needed you most, see, look, there was only one set of footprints in the sand through all the bad times in my life.
God said.. That is when I carried you.

There's a Way of Getting Through, One Step at a Time...

When you've only ever been with one person and for so long were a part of a perfect life with them, it's difficult to see anyone else in the same light (I'm sure some exceptions apply). Most of the time you walk around with your eyes closed, as though the light they had blinded you and now you can't see a thing.

I said to my mum, when I told him to leave,
now everything is in black and white. 

Anti-Consumerism...

Even though I have hardly any possessions and rarely go shopping, I'm going to try and not buy a single thing this year (except food, obviously). Anything I need I will share or trade with friends, swapping something I already have. There's nothing I need and the only things I ever buy really are books. Each year I have become more and more saddened by the inequality and waste the First World perpetuates, and the constant cycle of consumption we are all involved in so I'm going to try not to be involved.

If Only You Could See What I See Now...

Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing. No one's perfect, but I think a lot of times good people make mistakes in life because they're hurting. A lot of human behaviours are born out of frustrations, related, I think to the way we live our lives. Most people don't want to live their lives working so hard in jobs they don't really like feeling as though they're never really achieving anything. It's because we're not meant to be living our lives this way, being slaves to our employers and forever worried about how we are going to pay our next bill, missing all the important moments in-between. So sometimes we gravitate towards danger and become reckless, not because that's who we are, but because we're trying to find a way to break free, to feel something.

We're so far away from what was intended for us and our children, like fish out of water.
It's a choice though, we don't have to subscribed to this life of consumerism and "keeping up with the Jones's". Things that will full-fill us much more than material wealth, is working less, having more time for us, our families, our relationship, and having more time to help others, being able to travel, have adventures and be kind to one another is the only way we will be truly happy.

So don't be upset if you're having a bad day, week, month or year because life will give you whatever experience is necessary for the evolution of your consciousness, and all the pain and sadness I've felt, and all the bad things I've been through have led me here,  to this point where I feel less burdened everyday.